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Child Custody – Mother OR Father ?
We all should agree that right now our society has the awareness of gender equality more than ever. We are steadily normalizing women doing all kinds of job, being at par with men and excelling in every field. We are also breaking the stereotype that men are not emotionally volatile or that they lack the traits of a caring, sacrificing, responsible, heartwarming individual. We are changing the notions of what defines a man or a woman. But where are we as a society when it comes to single parenting ?
The number of cases has increased for divorce and so battle for getting custody of children is on rise too. We always think that the child is at better hands if it is the mother and not the father. We think that fathers are not as caring or as nurturing as the mother. But where is our legal system when it comes to child custody? Why are men not given the first preference even if they deserve the child custody? If it is because- fathers are less caring than mothers or mothers are more sacrificing than fathers, then sadly enough- all the awareness goes in vain. Even in today’s time, the father has to fight a heavy legal battle and prove his worth for the child, whereas for mothers, minimal efforts work in her favor.
However, I am not questioning the courts for not giving child custody to fathers when they genuinely do not deserve it, like when the father is heavily involved in his job, his in capabilities are proved by wife in the court of law, he is not ready to take care of his child and has proved to be the wrong parent for custody. I am questioning the cases when the father very well deserves it but still, the mother gets the custody, even if she is slightly less or sufficiently less worthy of it!
I have come across cases in which the father is equally deserving of the custody, but does not get it. One of them is a mother getting custody but not following the custody norms and keeping the father away from the child. She not only restricts their 12-year-old son from meeting his father on the kid’s birthdays but also gives them barely an hour to meet in one day. And on the Sundays, she has allotted for the kid, many classes- due to which the father is unable to meet. This is a very common custody issue. It gets so serious that the father further issues legal complaint saying that he is being deprived of the custody privileges. Above all, there is no such order from Hon’ble Court where father is restricted to meet his only son.
There are many cases where before going to the court, father agrees and go on to the conclusion that he will not get the custody of his child even if he is more deserving parent that his child’s mother. In another case, though mother is a housewife and husband is a businessman. They have filed for divorce and father has filed an application for getting the custody of his two daughters. According to father, even though mother is a housewife, she is always engaged in one or another kitty party and she usually moves around her friends place leaving both her daughters in servant’s hand. She doesn’t allow the father to meet the daughters alleging him of brainwashing the daughters against her. The matter is in court for hearing the custody application. Interestingly, the father has made up his mind for getting rejected his application for custody even though he has strong proof to prove the negligence of his wife towards their daughters.
As per the provisions of the Hindu Law, the custody of a child below five years of age is generally given to a mother. Usually the courts criteria to give custody to mother or father is to see the kids comfort and benefit with which parents. However, during the process of decision on custody, the child’s views are also considered if he/she is above nine years.
In most of the cases in India, the custody of the child is granted, by the family court, to one parent and the access of child is granted to both of them. Moreover, data clearly shows that out of approximately 100 cases in a year, father has got the custody in only 2-3 cases. According to a report, in one of the case of custody, Family Court had granted custody of a girl child to her father. Later on, it was discovered that the father was found misbehaving with his own daughter. Similar cases have been disclosed in different courts in custody matters and hence, now courts don’t give the custody of a girl child to father unless the situation is very worst on mother’s part.
